Ask B: Can You Invite Non-Wedding Guests to a Shower?

Dear B, 

My daughter is having a small wedding and so not all of our friends and family will be invited. Some of my friends would love to host a “Meet the Fiancé” shower/party for her, however I wanted to make sure it was acceptable to invite non-wedding guests to this event. 

Lady C 
Lady C, 
How sensational your darling daughter is about to be a blushing bride, congratulations! Wedding etiquette for this situation suggests that only wedding guests are invited to pre-wedding festivities. Otherwise it sends (while not intentional) the message to the uninvited wedding guests, “If they’d like me to attend the shower/party, why don’t they want me to attend their wedding?” However have no fear! Mrs. Buns has a solution for you! If close friends wish to raise a glass of bubbly to the lovebirds and include non-wedding guests, I recommend they host a “Meet the New Mr. and Mrs.” fete after the couple returns from their blissful honeymoon. That way, everyone can be included in the celebration and merriment. Gifts aren’t typically expected at these parties, however some guests will bring them anyways. 

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