Ask B: Plus Two

Dear B, 
One of my fiancé’s groomsmen asked if he could not only have a plus one, but a plus two! He said his girlfriend and her cousin visiting from Eastern Europe would like to come to the wedding (he doesn’t want them to be lonely?) and so he asked if they could be his two guests. Also, the wedding is in three weeks, so all of the seating arrangements have been completed. This took my fiancé and I by surprise, and frankly we found it quite rude. How do you recommend we handle the situation?

Bride-to-be,Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials – how wonderful! You might have noticed I’ve written about the plus one debacle before (my dear, I get asked about this constantly), however a plus two is definitely a first! Despite a guest’s desire to bring a date(s) with them to a wedding, if they have not been offered a plus one (and as you know, the bride and groom always have their reasoning, be it space, cost, etc.), then they need to graciously attend the wedding solo and not ask to bump up the head count. You have every right to decide who has a plus one and who doesn’t, and guests need to respect that. My MBB intuition leads me to believe this groomsmen didn’t mean to offend you, and perhaps doesn’t know proper wedding etiquette. Since he is a groomsmen, I recommend that your hubby-to-be handle the situation – kindly ask him to be patient and understanding with this gent, and let him know that seating arrangements are complete, place cards have been created, and the venue can’t accommodate any other guests. Then, put this behind you and focus on your fabulous wedding!

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