Ask B: Big Family, Small Wedding Dilemma

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Dear B,

My daughter is getting married in June and has selected a country club venue with a limit of 120 people. I have a somewhat large family (local), and not all can be invited. How do you tell some family they won’t be invited? When invitations go out, there will be drama!

Sincerely, 

Mother-of-the-Bride


 

Dear MOB,

I will admit this is a sticky situation, however not to worry, I have a solution! I think honesty is the best policy, so consider meeting individually with your extended family (lunch with an aunt and uncle, afternoon walk with a cousin, etc.) to share the news face-to-face. Sincerely explain how hard this has been for you and your daughter, as you wish everyone could be at the wedding. Let them know since the country club has a limited number of people they will allow, the guest list needs to be limited to immediate family and the wedding party and you hope they can understand. Expect them to be disappointed not to witness your daughter’s nuptials, however hopefully they will be able to see your perspective. One last thing to consider, MOB – as a nod to family (and friends) not invited to the wedding and way to include them in the celebration, perhaps you could host a “Introducing Mr. & Mrs.” fête for the newlyweds once they return from their honeymoon. Good luck!

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